Game Collecting and the Neo-Geo X
As a game enthusiast with limited financial resources I have often found it necessary to organise how to go about adding to my collection. In the past few years I have made purchases based more on my personal preferences and interests rather than its collectors value. Whereas a boxed Virtual Boy might look very nice on my shelf, that extra piece of cardboard packaging could pay for a lot of SNES games, and lets be honest, who would want Water World over Mario World? The problem is that space on my shelf is still calling to me.
Heres a picture of it… Wait is that art?
I have been collecting casually for many many years (technically since I got my SNES and Super Metroid back when I was a lot shorter), often buying things when I see good deals in the flea and cyber markets. I now own the entire back catalogued of key Sega/Nintendo systems (minus a Master System for some reason), an Atari 2600, a Japanese PlayStation and my personal pride, a boxed Jaguar I found purely by accident. All of these have provided with me a lot of enjoyment and a sense of satisfaction when I see them sitting in a neat line on the aforementioned shelf. However the problem with being a collector of anything is that eventually you have to move out of the uncommon sector and towards the rarer stuff; specifically for me the Neo-Geo, TurboGrafx 16 and 3DO. This means you have to transverse the often sudden price rise.
The question I am faced with is simply are they worth it? The most I have ever paid for a console (retro) is £50 for my Sega CD, with my average cost being somewhere between £20-40, around one-tenth the price of a working Neo-Geo. I can’t help but feel these three would essentially ’round off’ my collection, (after that things get much more obscure and much more costly), but spending so much money on something purely to say I own it does not make me feel very comfortable. It always reminds me of the man in the bible story who kept hoarding more and more grain, but then died before he got to enjoy his wealth. In other words having a big pile of stuff is ultimately useless in the end, so we should not be so desperate to put it before the well-being of others. On the other hand, video games give me a simple pleasure and a point of engagement with other humans. Now this is all getting to deep. The point I am trying to make is I want to be able expand my collection without it costing me a fortune. This brings me to the Neo-Geo X.
‘No wonder people call NEOGEO the Bugatti brand of gaming!’ – Actual quote from website…
For those who are not aware, the Neo-Geo X is a brand new, reborn Neo-Geo built to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the original system. The basic unit is a small handheld similar to Sega’s Arcade Ultimate Portable, and comes with 20 ‘classic’ pre-loaded games. So far, so average. Companies like Sega and Atari have been releasing these sort of X-in-1 and plug-n-play systems for a long time. But the Neo-Geo X has one key selling feature; if you pay extra for the Gold bundle, the hand-held also comes with a full size replica of the original console, complete with controller and HDMI output. All this for the relatively low price of £129. That means someone like me can now have their Neo-Geo cake and eat it, as a cheaper alternative to the real thing. Well maybe not exactly…
Sadly, and as is always the case, there is a catch. The platform cannot play the original game carts. It is essentially a Neo-Geo shaped case into which the portable is placed, allowing it to be played on the big screen. Granted it does allow the use of the of the traditional arcade stick but for £129 this seems like an empty gesture.
Also it comes in a nice box. No really.
In my opinion the Neo-Geo X is a missed opportunity and is unlikely to sell well. Those people who just want to play Metal Slug et al will find ports pretty much anywhere, whereas those who are interested in the Neo-Geo for its collectors cred will want to seek out the real thing and its cartridges (which are in themselves just as interesting and collectible as the console). The X does not seem to be aimed at either group and so will likely fall between the gap. If it had been a full functional rebuild, they may well have been onto something and hit a core group of gamers who like myself who want something with all the benefits of the original without the large price tag.
There is clearly a demand for retro games right now and plenty of second-hand stuff is available to those who want it. Whilst 10-20 years ago the technology behind these consoles might have had a high cost, now its worth less than the average children’s toy. The games we played on them are likely to live a lot longer, so as the systems begin to wear out and break down, (and copyright licences being to expire) it is not hard to imagine 3rd person companies stepping in to build replica games machines. In fact I am sure someone in China is building an NES deck right now. If SNK really want to make some extra cash from all those carts floating around out there, they should have considered building an actually Neo-Geo, because there is an empty space for it on my shelf and an equally empty space in my wallet.
This is a different empty space.
Images of the Neo Geo X belong to its developers. http://neogeox.com/
Indie Games: SCP – Containment Breach
So its been a while since my last post, unfortunately life has meant that things have been taking a bit longer than expected. And by life I mean cleaning the poop out of my pants from playing SCP Containment Breach. For those of you who have not experienced this little digital nugget of nightmares yet, SCP is simple indie game set in a randomly generated, top-secret research facility. As usual some-one has balls something up and now you have to get yourself out of there quick or meet a grizzly end. Whilst this sounds like an average working day at Black Mesa, this game relies more on the tightness of your sphincter than your trigger finger. There are no weapons to help you here, just the knowledge that something is following you….
Specifically this guy… and some of his friends….
Much like its spiritual sister, Slender, SCP uses the a basic run-and-hide mechanic to regenerate its scares. The constant knowledge that you are being chased is what builds the tension and taps into the animal instinct inside us. The only means of defending yourself in this game is to stare at the terror balls-first. Literally. Much like the Weeping Angels in Doctor Who, the alien nasties pursing you only move when you are not looking at them. Or when you blink… The game has an ‘eye meter’ which counts down the seconds between blinks; leave it too long and you will shut your eyes momentarily, allowing you to be pounced on. In order to survive you have to follow The Doctors advice and ‘dont blink’ or at least control it as well as you can. Also enemies can teleport through walls, just to remind you that life is not fair…
I’m sure he is just trying to return that £5 note you dropped…
It all sounds very easy on paper (or screen), until you try it for yourself. I am man enough to admit I cannot get past the first few doors of this game without running away and squealing like a Japanese school girl. If you want the full effect of this game (God knows why…) play it with the lights off and headphones set at full volume. For the rest of us, here is a little custom mod I created to easy the tension a little…. I call it Catainment Breach…
Awww….Awww…ARRRRWRWRWRWURGggggggggggggg…. *dead*
Save this file as ‘173tex2’ then past it into the GFXS/npcs folder of your game so it replaces the original… enjoy! The original game can be downloaded (for free) from here: www.scpcbgame.com
Updates Updates Updates…
Well its been a while. That’s okay, I suspected it would be. The chances of me being able to maintain any sort of regular commitment to something with out a controller/breasts are basically zero. Aside from that I have had a few minor and major life events to juggle that have played havoc with my procrastination schedule.
Luckily the human mind never sleeps (except when it is alseep) thus I have a whole back catalogue of posts to put up over the next few days. I have some new stuff on the Wii U and Vita, another Pre-review and more 100 word reviews for your eyeballing pleasure. Thanks to all of you for reading!
I was going to find a picture for ‘procrastination’ but I could not be bothered….
Sweetris Review
Looks like Tetris, tastes like an old tractor tire…. For people who want their gummy candies to taste like crap but with the convenience of being able to align them into rows.
Nintendo: Wii U buy it?
With this years E3 rapidly approaching, more and more attention is being paid to Nintendo’s new console, the Wii U. Last week a leaked photo of the revised tablet controller revealed that yes, this is to be the systems official name. You can call me a fan-boy if you like, but I have been playing Nintendo games since I was a child. I started off with an SNES; where Mario World, Super Metroid and Star Fox (called Star Wing in the UK for some reason) kept me entertained for many a long hour. When I was a few years older my parents brought me an N64 for my birthday and I remember games such as Goldeneye, Banjo Kazooie and Orcarina of Time wowing me and my friends with their chunky, polygonal graphics. This was the golden age for Nintendo. There where other Sega and Atari systems out at the time but no-one really cared about them. Every conversation was about Zelda or Goldeneye. Sadly this time did not last and I was lured away by the PSOne and the Final Fantasy series.When the Gamecube was released I put my faith in Nintendo once more and like many people was quickly disappointed. The problem with the Cube was not so much the library of games or its processing power, it was just a bit… meh. There was nothing stand-out about the system when compared to its competitors. Sure Zelda, Mario and Metroid where all there, but that was not enough to sell the system at the levels Nintendo needed. Its leaders seemed to realise this, and thus a few years later the Wii was born. Although only a fraction more powerful than its father, the uniqueness of its controls and accessibility for none gamers made it a smash hit. Despite the vast quantity of mediocre shovel ware and fitness/cooking sims, the Wii had secured its place in the market, creating a goldmine for Nintendo to rival that of the Pokemon crazy.
No joke for this one… its too serious.
So now we have the Wii U and my one main thought about it… What exactly is it for? This is the question I think will be asked the most and probably one Nintendo should be the worried about. Put simply, I cannot work out what sort of market this new machine is aimed at. On the one hand we have the new tablet controller. This the feature Nintendo has been pushing the most. So far evidence/fan theories suggest that it will have features such as being able to shift the game play to smaller screen, scanning physical items into the game world (ala Skylanders) and dynamic virtual controls. The way Nintendo has positioned the controller in the spotlight and not the system as a whole suggests to me that they are once again trying to sell it like the Wii, as a new way of playing games. The problem with this is that I am just not sure if a tablet controller is new and exciting enough on its own to sell a whole new console. Its not like touch controls have never been done before (see the DS/Vita/iPad) and I just do not feel that it will be exciting enough for people to want to replace their original Wii with it. The new market the Wii opened (and to a lesser extent the DS) was one that appealed to people who would not normally play a video game, ie, those not so technologically inclined. We have all seen the photos of the old folks playing Wii Sports in their care homes and I just cannot imagine those same people buying a Wii U just because it has a tablet. If anything a tablet is likely to put that audience off.
Its easy to be patronising until she kicks your arse.
So if the specialist controller is not enough to move the system then what other selling point is Nintendo relying on? Is there some secret about the main console they have not revealed yet? Will they shock everyone at E3 by revealing the controller is the console? Because that would be awesome. A fully wireless system that can connect to a TV would certainly have that unique edge Nintendo needs to find again, although I highly doubt such a reveal is likely. So assuming Nintendo does not have a Shyamalan esq twist to stun us with, what else is there?
Well on the other hand we have the machine specs. One of the criticisms of the previous Wii was that it did not have enough to please hardcore gamers. It simply did not have the power to compete with the Xbox and PlayStation, also its online service was not up to scratch to handle the popular FPS games that where becoming all the rage. In my opinion however this was a none issue. Even if you could not afford more than one console at least you had a choice. Also with the 360 and PS3 there was little market room for a third hardcore device and really there still is not. Nintendo are trying to rectify this complaint now by providing a machine with power rumoured to be somewhere between half and twice that of the Xbox. Here I think the company needs to be very careful. Stepping back into the hardcore arena with anything less than twice that of current systems and people simply will not be interested enough. Half the power and the Wii U will be a joke to graphics hungry gamers. Also they had better be sure their online service is perfect from the start. No-one is going to payout for a new system on which to play Colonial Marines if it is sub-standard to what they already own, even if it has a funky new controller. On the subject of which, I am not sure how gamers who are used to the solid PS and Xbox controllers will take to it. Look at Sony and Microsoft’s and the basic twin-stick shoulder-trigger design is very similar. Unless Nintendo’s tablet is more comfortable then it looks I cannot imagine it being adopted for serious competitive play.
Could imagine this man buying one…?
The point I am trying to make with all this is that Nintendo is currently engaged in a two-tier approach to selling their Wii U. In one way they are trying to sell it to the same causal crowd who brought their previous inventive system, but in another way they are trying to appeal to the more seasoned gaming veterans like myself who perhaps grew up with their products but then moved on. What worries me is that I am not sure this approach is focused enough. By trying to appeal to everyone Nintendo could well end up with a unit that does many things but none of them well enough to compete. But maybe I am not being optimistic enough. Maybe the company which gave us the NES, the Gameboy and the Wii can pull off this hybrid console. Unfortuantly then I remember that this is the same company that also brought us the Gamecube, the Gameboy Printer and (gulp) the Virtual Boy. Then I long for my childhood and my N64 again….
Pictured: The empty space that replaced Virtual Boy…
Halo Anniversary: 100 Word Review
Halo is still a solid shooter without the complexity of more modern entries, which will suit some more than others. The story still carries enough entertainment to make it worth playing for either the first or second time, while the graphics have been cleaned up significantly. There are few other additions and the lack of mulitplayer seems strange, but is understandable given the popularity of Reach. The game instead carries the Anniversary DLC map-pack for Reach, allowing for the traditional maps to be played online. Unfortuantly this game is not full £40, but would have benefited from being a downloadable title.
Top Ten: Final Fantasy Heros and Heroines
If there was one video game series I could always rely on for hours of entertainment it was SquareEnix’ Final Fantasy. Back in the days before Skyrim and the ‘open world’ these games would keep me busy for weeks if not months, just what you needed when games only came on birthdays or at Christmas. Entries such as 7, 8 and 9 had completion times of well over 40 hours and that was solid play time, none of that aimless wandering around between objectives like today (well not all the time anyway). Each of those hours was filled with imaginative locales, awesome music and interesting, if often quirky, characters to interact and engage with. It was these characters and their storylines that kept me sitting in front of my tv for hours on end, so just as personal thing I’ve decided to list my top ten Final Fantasy Heros. In order to keep it simple I have decide to only include characters from the main game series, so no spin-offs or sequels. They also they have to be playable in the main game. Here is my party of choice;
Number 10. – Sazh Katroy (FFXIII)
Final Fantasy XIII is never going to be my favourite Final Fantasy. When the trailer came out showing its fluid combat system and awesome theme music, I was really excited. Unfortuantly the rest of the game was no-where near as thrilling. The story was buried in a pile of terminology and half-baked mythology whilst the massive explorable worlds were reduced to a bunch of corridors and a single big field. Maybe because the story was weak, or maybe visa-versa, the characters themselves where not particularly interesting either. The one notable exception was Sazh Katroy. On first appearance he came across as the typical Japanese stereotype of a black person (with all that implies) but as the game moved on I found him to be the most human and well developed of all the party members. Sazh’ plot is centred around him searching for his lost son and doing everything he can to get him back. He acts as the main comic relief, refreshing in a game which really needs to lighten up, but is also well developed as a believable person. When he finds those responsible his reaction is wide range of emotions including anger and depression, however he refuses to let this get the better of him choosing to do what is right instead of giving up. As I played through 13 I was more interested in this guys quest then I was in Lightnings and in feel Square should have made this man their main lead. Also he has a baby Chocobo living in his afro. Thats cool.
Number 9. – Auron (FFX)
Auron is a badass. Stoic and gruff, his personality is defined more cleaving enemies in half then it is with edgy dialogue. Whilst that is not a new thing in video games, or even in a Final Fantasy game, Auron is an example of an archetype done well. Unlike other such characters, he has enough to say to keep him interesting and give him a firm standing in the games plot. Rather then having any strong personal development, he instead acts as the mentor, leading the main character Tidus through his journey and protecting the summoner Yuna as he did her father. The main reason I enjoy Auron is his design. With his pony tail, sunglasses and jar of booze hanging from his belt (which he uses as part of his attacks, yay) he looks like a cyber-punk warrior monk gone bad. His theme music is also pretty cool, with its thumping beat making everything feel more manly as soon as it starts playing.
Number 8. – Cecil Harvey (FFIV)
Cecil is a favourite of many a Final Fantasy fan, mostly due to fact that this was the first of the well written video game hero they encountered. Whilst I personally did not share that experience (Final Fantasy 7 was my first) I can at least appreciate why the Dark-Warrior-turned-Paladin is so well regarded. Final Fantasy IV was the next game to be released outside of Japan following the original NES game, creating a massive impact with its well told story and varied characters. Cecil was the games main character, who we follow on his path from servant of evil too redeemed hero. The interactions between him and the other characters, including his lover Rosa, show a man confused about his destiny and what he should do with his life. Everyone has these doubts at some point in their life, and so too see such a relatable figure in a time when video games were all about jumping on things was truly exceptional and worth remembering.
Number 7. – Sabin Rene Figaro (FFVI)
Final Fantasy 6 had a large roster of memorable characters, but out of all of them Sabin is the who who stands out the most to me. This is partly down to the amount of funny scenes that are centred around him (there is something inherently hilarious about watching 16-bit sprites bouncing around a screen) and his Street Fighter style special attacks. It is also down to the story arc he shares with his brother and the relationship between them. Despite being heirs to the throne of Figaro, both him and Edgar are reluctant to accept their responsibility and so settle it with the toss of a coin, the outcome of which means Sabin is free to go live his dreams but must leave his brother. The encounters between them are both funny and touching, and are something I always enjoy about playing the game.
Number 6. – Red XIII (FFVII)
Red XIII is the child who wants to be a man, or in this case a puppy trying to be a wolf (which is far cuter). When he is first met in the Shinra tower it seems as those he will become the old wise man of the team, providing wisdom and guidance. So when later it turns out he is not as old or as wise as he was making out, things get a lot more interesting. Sudden having to reassess a character is great little plot twist which gives Red XIII much more depth then he initially appeared to have. The way in which it is revealed, a side-plot involving his disgraced father, is well done and does not feel like it is just being forced in just for the sake of it, instead creating a lot of sympathy for the young pup. Red XIII is a hero who would have been an unique addition simply because, well he’s a dog, but instead is give a wealth of personality because the writers put that extra bit of effort in.
Number 5. – Laguna Loire (FFVIII)
Although he is technically more of side character than a main one, Laguna does play a vital role in the storyline of Final Fantasy 8. There are three main reasons why this man is on my list. First, way in which his life is told through a series of flashbacks, ranging from his life as solider and then as a journalist, is an interesting way of revealing it. Secondly he looks like a fun guy to hang out with. He is easy going and relaxed, if sometimes a bit too relaxed, thus is just the sort of man you could have a few drinks with. Especially in a world everyone has some heavy emotional baggage about being an orphan they have to deal with. Thirdly his battle music is awesome. The Man with the Machine Gun is a fan favourite and the perfect piece to get you ready for that up coming boss battle.
Number 4. – Balthier (FFXII)
Much like Sazh in Final Fantasy 13, Balthier is one of the few things that lifts Final Fantasy 12 slightly above being mediocre. In a plot that bares a strong resemblance to Star Wars, he is the Han Solo stand in; complete with furry sidekick. He is the dashing rouge of the party, self-assured and confident but becoming increasing likeable as things progress. As the son of a disgraced scientist, Balthier has spent most of his life trying to sever his ties with the past. During the game tries to help the Princess Ashe from repeating the same mistakes, eventually giving his life (apparently) to save everyone else. I have always liked roguish protagonists and Balthier’s character is supported with some brilliant written dialogue which is often comedic and poetic at the same time, showing that a hero can be intellectuality without loosing the humour. As with Sazh, Balthier stands out as being much more unique then the others in 12, so when he refers to himself as the leading man I cannot help but feel the whole game would have been better if he was.
Number 3. – Vivi Orunitia (FFIX)
Everyone who has played Final Fantasy 9 loves Vivi. Especially girls. Even though he is filled to the teeth (if he has them) with black magic and explosions, his shy disposition and innocent outlook make him a defining and huggable entry in the series. But despite his cute, childlike personality, Vivi actually has one of the most interesting and thought provoking sub-plots of any Final Fantasy character so far. Discovering he is little more than a mass produced (and weaponised) doll, Vivi’s quest is about finding meaning in both his life and his inevitable death, all of which is portrayed through his childish innocence. This often leads to a lot of moments that are either, funny, touching or tragic but always endearing, adding a whole new layer of depth to what would otherwise be a fairly simple story about a princess and thief. From a gameplay point of view, Vivi is also one of the best people to have one your side in a fight, with a vast collection of black magic ranging from simple fire spells to summoning huge meteorites of doom with enough destructive power to have Michael Bay dribbling down his shirt.
Number 2. – Yuna (FFX)
Most Final Fantasy girls seem to fall into one of three types; the strong, empowered (and often large chested) warrior, the helpless princess (traditional) and the quirky, feisty teenager who is there mostly just to look cute. The reason I like Yuna so much is because she is a bit of all these things, without becoming another stereotype. She needs the help of the hero but is also capable of acting on her own. She is quiet and demur but is also brave and determined. She is cute but does not exist purely for that reason. Yuna is a well balanced heroine who I like for many of the same reasons I like Vivi; she is nice without being a wimp. Also she can summon flame demons and looks good in hot pants. That always helps. The love story between her and Tidus is also kind of sweet, but I would never admit that in public or on the internet.
Number 1. – Cid Highwind (FFVII)
Cid Highwind is without doubt one of my favourite characters of all time. When I was a youth, Final Fantasy 7 was one of the first games I played after Mario, Metroid and Zelda; so when me and my friend encounter this foul-mouthed pilot he instantly became our favourite. A video game character that smokes, drinks tea and swears like a sailor? It was an amazing thing to see. But that was not the only reason I like Cid so much. He his dream to becoming the first man in space and desire to make something of his life is something we can all relate too. Watching the Shinra rocket crash back to the launch pad and then finally launch into space still packs a lot of emotion; it reminds me of a time when all you need to complete your dream was to believe hard enough. And defeat Weapon. Without Cids wisecracks and little censored rants I would not have loved Final Fantasy 7 as much as I did. Without Final Fantasy 7 I would not have got into video games as much as I did, and without video games I would not be the person I am today. So thanks Cid, you foul mouthed old %!X#%$.
Banjo Kazooie Nuts & Bolts:100 Word Review
Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts lacks the humour and charm of the earlier games but makes up for it with its ability to create hundreds of insane vehicles; which is what you will probably spend the most time doing. The collection aspects of the previous games remain intact with the player taking part in races and other challenges to win Jiggies, vehicle parts or notes. There are only five (although large) worlds to explore, so things quickly get repetitive. Controls can be awkward at times, but overall the game is reasonably good fun if a bit disappointing compared to previous.
PlayStation Vita: The Changing Face of Gaming
In the last few weeks since its release I have been considering whether or not to purchase the new PlayStation Vita. Like most men from my generation I am an avid gamer who has built up a modest collection of modern and retro games. I have kept all my old consoles, including my original Super Nintendo which often gets brought out to sit alongside its next generation successors. Whilst most of my childhood centred around Nintendo, in my adult life it the PlayStation that reigns dominant. My PS3 gets more use then any other my previous consoles (mostly because it has a blueray player), however its my PSP 3000 I have the most affection for. Although its generally regarded as having lost out to the Nintendo DS (which in fairness has a much better library of games in my opinion) its collection of decent RPG’s, the ability to watch video and run PS One Classics all kept me going during years of commuting.
For all these reasons I should be pretty excited about getting hold of a Vita. Except I’m not. Its not that I actively dislike the machine itself; I think the idea of playing home-quality games on the move is awesome, but its the changes to a form of media I love that I am reluctant to encourage.
I know what you are up too, inanimate gizmo…
For me the Vita is the first glimpse of what is likely to come with the next era of gaming. Maybe I am just old fashioned and still clinging to my childhood, but I don’t like the way things are looking for the future and its mostly thanks to the internet.
To begin with there is the lack of actual games. You are probably all thinking; ‘but the Vita has a bunch of decent launch titles’ and this is true. But what I am actually referring to is the dreaded ‘cloud’. I mentioned this in my top 10 things I like/dislike about the internet as a joke (so you had all better have laughed…) but this is a real concern for me. Currently most of the Vita’s title are available as cards, you buy them in a shop, plug them into your console and enjoy some Wipeout. However all the titles also available in the PlayStation Store for download, straight from day one. This is the first time I know of (with the exception of the OnLive system which I will come too later) where this has happened, and if the rumours about the next Xbox are true, this is likely to be how will be purchasing all our games in future.
Download on demand games are not a new idea and do have advantages. For the example the ability to store multiple games on a single unit is extremely useful for people like me with to many games and to little space to store them. This is the model the music industry has adopted and distributors like iTunes have been a big success. However, a video game is by no means the same thing as a music track.
To start with there is the price. The average game brought new can cost nearly £40 (although this does seem to be rising to £45-50) while a single music track can cost as little as 25p. With the economy not looking to improve any time soon, that’s a lot of money to spend on what is a luxury item that does not technically exist. Also with a download there is no flexibility in the price. If Sony or Nintendo want £50 for game that is what you will have to pay. There will be no pre-owned games to find on eBay, no competition between shops to drive down prices. In fact most stores are already starting to close down and this will likely finish them off. Thats not only sad for nostalgia-philes like me but also staff who will be out of work there.
Hey money! I remember money!
I have heard arguments that pre-owned games are affecting developers negatively, as they receive little to no money from re-sales, however I do not think that removing the ability to buy pre-owned titles will be of much help. For a start, game developers do make money. No-one runs a business in an area where there is no profit. Next, if you are going to force me to pay full price for a game, it had better be damn good. Occasionally I will buy a game brand new, even pre-order it, as long as it is something that excites me and is something I really, really want. All my other games are second hand. Most are games I brought simply because they were cheap and would never have purchased them otherwise. Surely some people buying your game cheap is better than no-one by it at all.
The other thing that makes downloading a game different from downloading something like a music track is the sizeof file involved. With my average connection in my average area of England, the average full size game (say about 3 gigabytes) can take over 6 hours to download. That means leaving your notoriously over-heating-prone device on for lengthy periods of time. You can of course pause your download or run it in the background, but previous experiences have proven this to be troublesome and even more time consuming. There is nothing more annoying then trying for 8 days to download Phantasy Star Online, only to have a lost source error appear at 97% (true story).
This leads me to my next point about the Vita, which is the heavy reliance on online services in general. Since the Dreamcast, consoles have been providing us with the ability to take our wars, races and even Pokemon battles out into the cyber world of the internet. Hours spent on Call of Duty and Street Fighter 4 have shown just how enthralling online mulitplayer can be, as there is nothing more fun then beating someone you know is a real person. My issue with online connective comes down to heavily it is implimented into everything.
Go, ninja killer flame-ape!
The Vita has been highly praised for its power to connect everywhere thanks to its 3G model, NEAR tool and access to a range of services. All of this is great, but its only as great as the network which support it. As you can tell from my afore alluded too download times, my home network is not great. So imagine my frustration every time I buy a game and find it has not been finished properly and needs me to install a whole catalogue of updates. Or even more annoyingly, when coats my screen in registration forms and DLC adverts every time I load Need for Speed (EA, I swear I would punch you if you where a real person…) Also what happens in the future if we move into games that require an online link to be unlocked and played each time, much like DMR protect movies do now? What happens if games are not even downloaded, but streamed over an OnLive style connection? I do not want to lose access to my game library every time my WiFi blips, one of the service providers goes bust or someone cuts a cable with a spade. By the way, just what will happen to all those games I brought if OnLive closes down anyway?
Even if you have the best connection in the world, and Vodafone invents a away of sending data that never ever fails, I still would not be convinced that integrating the internet so widely into gaming is such a good idea. Sure, seeing news and leader boards scrolling across the start screen is a great way to feel involved, but as someone who likes collecting video games I am not entirely sure how I will be able to continue this into the next generation. Will Sony’s servers still be around in 20 years? Will my Vita be stuck waiting to install an update that will never come? We will have to wait and see if the hardware survives first. Also I cannot help but feel that it encourages laziness in developers. Even now its painfully obvious when games are rushed out and then patched retrospective with updates. Charging extra for DLC which should have been in the main game (hello Mass Effect 3) and focusing all attention on the mulitplayer experience at the expense of the single player all result in a poor overall expirence. If you want to make a multilayer game that’s fine, but instead of a half-baked single player campaign why not include all that DLC you were going to release separately? Would Skyrim have been better with an online co-op mode? Actually that might have been awesome, but not if they had to remove half the map to do it.
RARWWWWW! I HAVE A HORNY HAT! LOL
The other big selling point of the Vita is the touch screen and rear sensory pad. Uncharted: Golden Abyss is one of the early launch titles for the Vita and as such is filled with distracting moments which require you to tap or swipe the screen, simply for the purpose of showing what the Vita can do. It seems every system since the Wii and DS has had to implement some form of alternative control and there is no sign that this is likely to change in the future. This would be fine as long as it is done well (see Skyward Sword, WarioWare et al), unfortuantly past experience show it probably wont be. With the PlayStation Move, Xbox Kinect and even the Wii MotionPlus failing to deliver the goods in terms of an exciting new game-play, hard-drives filled with forced and meaningless shovel-ware appear to be the fate of the future.
All that being said, once I can get my mind past these issues there is no doubt that PS Vita is an impressive piece of hardware. Until a few months ago it would have been more powerful then my laptop, which is kind of amazing when I think about it. However as with all new things in the world technology it represent a change, a moving away from the way things used to work and that naturally makes me uneasy. The problem in this case is that video games are very much defined by what they were in the past; a world of cartridges, controllers and creativity. I do not think everything about modern gaming is bad, its not, I just fear that once we start to move away from those defining aspects we will lose everything that the game industry used to be. The simple joy of going to the game store will vanish like the record shops and all that will be left with another hollow form of bland, restrictive, mass produced media. But on second thoughts I guess that was always the destiny of the gaming industry anyway, so I might as well embrace it. Buy a PlayStation Vita, because its the future of gaming.
RIP old console/dvd thing.
Top 10 Things I Would Like/Not Like To Thank The Internet For….
So now that I have finally joined the internet, or ‘net as I believe the young people are calling it, I thought it would be a good idea to look back over everything the web has given us and assign each aspect a numerical position based on how highly I choose to rank it.
Heres some things I like and don’t like about some stuff.
Thank you internet for giving me:
5. Online multiplayer: Like most gamers, I like me some mulitplayer. While I don’t believe modern gaming is quite everything I hoped it would be when I was 12 (see future post), one of the things this new age has brought us is the ability to fight out our differences over a long distance. Its all of the fun/abuse of playing with friends, but with strangers! All those who complain about said abuse are a load of nOObs and Nazi’s who fail to realise that the exchange of hatred is the core of a good failed life. Playing over the global network also removes the need for all that difficult socialising… Not that socialising is a bad thing, its just a lot easier to get friends together when you are 12 then when you are 24 and in full time employment for the next 45 years…
4. The unification of our world: Its a simple one, but king of a biggie. The internet allows us to talk to people anywhere in the world… Okay, most parts of the world. Certainly people in the more developed nations. The good developed nations who don’t use it as a form of repression (please don’t kill me). For every foul mouthed teenage wanting to make your online experience a living hell (see online multiplayer) there is at least one good person who its worth getting to know, the type of person you could happily discuss the the state of public transport with in a railway waiting room. The internet allows us to get to know our furthest neighbours, and makes us realise that no matter what our beliefs or skin colour, we all hate railway waiting rooms.
3. The answer to every question ever: What’s the fastest route out of Birmingham? How much does Uranus weigh? Where can I buy a grenade launcher? Why does that Velociraptor keep throwing bananas at me while I’m trying to study? Why is my *body part* gushing/ozzing *fluid*? Just what is wrong with me? All these questions have answers, and the internet knows them all. It just has a habit of presenting the wrong answer to the even more wrong question. But what does the odd factual inaccurate matter when you can access the entirety of humanities wisdom at the click of a mouse? Its not like everyone uses Wikipedia for writing their thesis or anything… not more than once anyway.
2. Youtube: Youtube grants us access to every kind of video mankind has every created (At least it would if it got rid of all those pesky ‘suitable content’ policies) Chances are good that you have been on Youtube at least once already today. If it did not exist, where else could we go to see babies laughing at lolcats or grown men inflating condoms by hanging them out of car windows? Nowhere that does not require standing up or moving around. On a more serious point, its on of the best archives of information future generations could hope for. Also this:
Your welcome.
1. My girlfriend: Awwwwwww ❤ Yes indeed, imaginary voice I hear when I read, you are right to aww. What I forgot to mention in my unification of the globe bit was that not only do you get to meet new and interesting people on the internet, occasionally you get to kiss them too. Me and my girlfriend would never have had the chance to meet up if it had not been for the internet, and we certainly would not have been able to maintain our relationship for so long if it had not been for the good people at Skype (she lives waaaaaay beyond shouting distance). So if getting it together with a wonderful girl (a physical one) is not the best thing about the internet, then I don’t know what is.
So too summarise the best bits of the internet: Girls and shouting at strangers from thousands of miles away. Now some stuff I do not like.
I would not like to thank the internet for:
5. Justine Beiber: Not just for Justine Beiber. Okay mostly for Justine Beiber. Originally I felt it was not fair to start hating a child I barely knew just because it was fashionable, but seriously now that I’ve seen videos of him, I just want to punch him in his smug child face. On his own, he would not be such a problem, except he seems to formed his own personal army of equally punchable tweenagers who insist on ruining every good anti-bieber thread with their pro-bieber insanity. If this tide of insipid squealing continues growing I have seriously concerns about the Earth future survival.
4. eBay: The freedom to buy anything you can think of at a reasonable price? Why would I dislike that? In principal I don’t, I love eBay. Thats part of the problem, its like cyber candy. You try desperately to resist but you just have to put a bid on that one thing you have really wanted for the last 5 seconds; but just can not help yourself. And then someone puts on a higher bid and all hell breaks loose. The whole purchasing of an item because a war, with military precision timing and terms like ‘sniping’. Loosing results in the grim despair of defeat, victory results in an empty wallet and letter box full of crisp shaped like Ringo Starr. (By the way, where that grenade launcher?)
3. Stealing all my free time: This blog has entry has taken me nearly 3 hours to write. Not including time spent on YouTube, Googling myself (giggity) or watching that Japanese Fanta commercial. From slow connection speeds to Captcha tests, everything on the internet steals my time like some giant time stealing thing. I had some other point to make but I want to watch that commercial another five or six times before bed.
2. The ‘cloud’: This is something I have been hearing a lot about recently… But just what is a cloud really and why is it so important that all my stuff gets kept on it? Maybe I like my stuff kept where it is thank you. Where I know it will not all disappear if the operating company goes bust or gets hacked by North Korea. Maybe its just my nature as a hoarder, or some ancient squirrel like nature that has yet to be evolved out of me, but I feel much more comfortable knowing all my digital nuts are stored safely on a hard disk or dvd. Personal files can, at least for the moment, can still be backed up in these more traditional ways but soon movies (possible games too) are likely to exist only in the ether and will only be ‘streamed’ down to you… Thats like if Ikea kept all their furniture in store and just sent it out each time you wanted to go to bed or sit on it. What if the delivery truck breaks down in transit? You would have to sleep on the floor like a common animal. Thats what your making us do, cloud!
Actually that’s a pretty big sword… you know what? Keep my stuff.
1. Invading my personal space: The creation of the internet has been the biggest invasion of privacy since some perverted (probably) architect started putting windows in bathrooms (why would I want to be able to see myself all naked in anything other than complete darkness?). Now it seems that everything you every do on the internet is being monitored, and this is not something new. People will say its not a problem as long as you are not doing anything wrong… but what if its a corrupt government who decides right and wrong for you? What if Hitler could monitor your internet usage? All those spoof bunker videos do not seem so funny now do they? And this does not even taking into account internet advertising, which arguably even worse then Hitler. (A Super-Hitler?) The most worrying part is how readily the we surrender are personal lives to the internets inviting candy-house. Remember all those pictures from that party? Everyone and their friends can see those on Facebook if they really try hard enough. My point is things leaked onto the internet are very hard to forget about, and big brother is always watching. Especially that which you Googled last night… no matter how hard you scrub your history. In fact, if we imagine the natural progression of things, your webcam is probably already watching you right now….
Goodnight everybody!
The Famous Ben 